I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I looked at my own cervix.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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