Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
