so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize