Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
