I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
