On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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