3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize