we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
