he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize