I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
