farters have to be the big spoon...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
