two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
