I hate your face
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
someone owes me an orgasm
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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