I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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