he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
