new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
