You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
