She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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