Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
