I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize