you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
