Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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