So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
