the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
