How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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