I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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