I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
