she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
