dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I could fuck to npr.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
