Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
