So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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