I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
