i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
