Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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