Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
