Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
