Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
