fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
