your thong is hanging out like whoa
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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