I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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