I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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