I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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