For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
