I am puke
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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