You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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