Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize