i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
