did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
