This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
