Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
