You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
