if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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