my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
