I showed him my bush... on skype.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this just has baby written all over it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
