the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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