Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
