I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Let's paint friendship bongs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
