making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
