There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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