You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
this is an emotional support booty call
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
