I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
