Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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