Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
