weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
