i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Randomize
