Where is the hickey?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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