I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
