im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm at about main and main street
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
