i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
