Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
