I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
where are my eyebrows?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
