haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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